is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
