Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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