Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
