well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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