My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Pants are for mortals
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
