gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
God, I missed his penis.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
