I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
