She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
