you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
