What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
