Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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