we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
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There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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