we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
