do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
