In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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