my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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