Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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