I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
