At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
