I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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