Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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