im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
