Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Your penis caused this!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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