My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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