i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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