we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
