She announced her abortion via fbk
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
