We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
