Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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