Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
