After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
