I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
