dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
