I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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