I wanna passion pit in your ass
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
