shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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