Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
