I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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