so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
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I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
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E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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