Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize