eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
