Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
