was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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