Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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