youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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