Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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