I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize