My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do vagina's smell?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
