: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize