Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
