Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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