she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
