mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
