Don't you send me to vm
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
