He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
