dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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