Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
