Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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