you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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