Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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