Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
