it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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