You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
