Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
