i just made my gag reflex go away.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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